Funny people from the last week

We spent this week in Orlando, Florida, eating poorly at several theme parks. Of the thousands and thousands of people we came across, a few stand out.

As I wrote the following sections, I realized they're not funny at all as written. Guess you had to be there. In retrospect, its probably not worth posting. But, I've wanted to do it for days, so here it is for historical purposes.

Food Guy at Gator Land

Gator Land is fun. We hadn't been there before. It has a window that you can walk up to and order what is loosely called "food". Its burgers and chicken fingers, etc. There were two guys picking up food at the window next to me. The guy in the back poked his head in past the first guy, so he could get up close to the cashier. He stated, in complete seriousness, "The food looks delicious." It doesn't. Its glorified slop. It wasn't so much the line that I found funny, but the effort it took to state it, and the sincerity in which it was said.

Getting to the Castle Guy

We went to universal, or some park, a few years ago with extended family. We had a bunch of pre-teens with us who simply wanted to get into the park and do stuff. I completely understand. They're kids; you have to get them into the park. It took a good hour because the out-of-towners wanted to stop and see every shop along the way. That's fine, but someone should go with the kids (I offered).

Anyway, we were inside magic kingdom working our way towards the castle. A guy, probably in his mid 20s with a kid on his shoulders, called out to his mother. He called a few times, and she finally came over and started talking about their friend Fran. The guys explained to her very simply "All I want to do is get from here to the castle in 10 minutes. Here, to there. Here, to there." With each repeat, he motioned from where they were standing to where the castle is, not to far away, breaking the task down into its most fundamental pieces. Good stuff. If he had a map, he probably would've drawn it out for her.

100 Minutes Guy

This is definitely something I would do. A guy was talking to someone else, maybe his father. He said that the wait is 100 minutes. The other guy asked for more details, and the guy responded dead serious "it says 100 minutes. That's all the sign says. I have no more information". That's not actually a quote, but something like that. He was simply expressing that he was just reading the sign, and there wasn't a heck of a lot to say about it. At first I was wondering if he was being a jerk or being funny. He eventually smirked. I chimed in with "That's almost an hour!" as we walked by. They laughed, but they may think I'm an idiot.

This struck me as particularly funny because, as I said, that's something I'd do. I'm not big on repeating myself when the initial statement contains only one or 2 facts that can't be elaborated upon. Sometimes people followup by asking the same question a different way as if the nuances of the question would affect the outcome.

The Green Soldiers

The Disney parade stops along he way, and does kid activities. Each of the floats has a green soldier on it from the Toy Story movies. These guys are funny. Unlike the previous paragraphs, these guys rehearse and are just reciting lines, but they do it great. Always in character, always funny. Kudos to the green soldiers. I wish I could give specific examples, but I have determined that the humor of these incidents isn't translating well to the blog, so I won't dishonor their service by attempting to duplicate their comic genius.