Bowling Tournament

We had our annual bowling tournament at work a few weeks ago. Two years ago, I did very well. Last  year, I did awful. This year, I did awful too. Two years ago I was playing a lot, but haven’t since. Oh well.

Anyway, our whole team was pretty bad. The next day I sent out this inspirational email in an attempt to boost morale.

12/18/2009

Greetings

I just wanted to write a quick note to thank you for inviting me to participate in the bowling tournament of this past Monday. It was a lot of fun.

I would also like to speculate on the pending results of the tournament and offer my commentary on said speculation. As the judges sit down to determine the winners and wicked losers, they're going to concentrate on things like "points" and "the score" and "totals" and "math", which is a monumental travesty. There's more to bowling than just the score. There's the style, the integrity, resourcefulness and, most importantly, the creativity.

For example, I brought and wore my own bowling shoes. I put them on the correct feet and tied the laces all by myself using the "rabbit goes into the rabbit hole" approach. I overcame adversity even with people watching and making me very uncomfortable with myself. Shouldn't that count for something?

Donna and Vadim have never bowled before, but they conquered our lanes, our neighbor's lanes, and a few of the pins over a period of a several frames. They rose from obscurity to heroes over a period of just 2 games. Will statues be erected in their honor? Probably not, but I say they should be. The world is entitled to know and appreciate what they have done.

What about Carlos and his uncanny ability to bowl each ball in a completely different way from all of his previous bowls? The movement of his shoulders exceeded the parameters of their original design likely resulting in permanent damage that won't be fully realized until the eve of his 52nd birthday. Such a triumph should not go unnoticed by the judges, but it will, because they don't care about the human aspect., They're all about the science... which makes me sad.

Finally, I would be remiss without highlighting the contributions of Christopher. Could any other person resist the urge to consume the company provided foods and snacks for fear of them killing him due to ongoing gastrointestinal difficulties? On that field of battle, he stands alone. As we ate, he resisted. He's a real South Floridian hero.

In conclusion, despite the fact that the "numbers" may demonstrate that "we sucked", I urge you to look past the numbers and instead focus on the more important human aspects of the game that no judge will consider. Miraculously, we all left the place relatively in tact. That makes us winners. Winners with low scores, but still winners.