To Music: "Let's go to outback tonight...

...and physically threaten Jay, but end up just humiliating your self and your family, get verbally slapped repeatedly, then leave the restaraunt with your tail between your legs... at the outback tonight!"

I'm not sure if the Outback theme music is perfectly suited for my new lyrics, but that's the best I can do. The song is sung, of course, from the perspective of the older fat gentleman at table 17.

So here's the story. I'm sure I will embellish some stuff for entertaining affect, but I won't at all embellish the core of the story. An embellishment has already occurred, actually. You see, I don't know that he was sitting at table 17. I don't know what table number it was, so I just made one up. That in no way compromises the integrity of the story, though, for he was sitting at a table and "Table 17" sounds better than "Some table".

The following is a true story.

Gina and I were at the Outback. Our conversation alternated between Jack, work, and maybe some other occasional foolishness. We just sat there, minding our own business. And, when I say "minding our own business", I don't mean it the sarcastic way in which I say one thing but imply something else altogether. We were, actually, sitting there minding our own business. Then this big (as in fat) older dude (60?) comes walking up to the table out of nowhere. I was a little puzzled about that... I didn't even see him walk over, I just saw him arrive. Did I know him? Did he think us to be a swell couple and wanted to buy our dinner? I really had no idea. I said "Hello", or "How are you", or something to that affect. He then started with "You've been sitting there staring at me, and I want to know why." Gina thought he was kidding, but I knew otherwise. He was facing me, not her, and I could see he was pissed about something.

"I wasn't staring." I responded, quite surprised.
He repeated himself, more or less, so I repeated myself more or less. I was perfectly reasonable to that point, then he said it again, getting more aggressive. It was really going nowhere. Being rational wasn't working. After his next iteration of "Why are you staring at me?"
I collected myself, looked him straight in the eye and responded "I find you very attractive."

There were a few moments of silence there. Gina laughed, but at that point she came to realize the guy wasn't goofing around. He took a step closer to me trying to achieve a dominant stance and stared down at me. (Inside tip #1: That doesn't work on me.) I mentally calculated what could actually happen at this juncture. The worse case scenario, really, is that he would start swinging at me in a room full of witnesses. Plus, he had to be at least 60 and was very clearly out of shape. He'd probably break a hip before he landed the first punch. Also, the odds of him actually wanting to do that were slim to done. He thought he was going to walk over, put me in my place, then go back to Table 17 victorious. Not today.

Anyway, that was my inner monologue. When we last left the narration, we were within a few moments of silence after I told him that I find him very attractive. Finally, he got his wits about him, and he started a new series of repeating himself.

"You're a wise guy, hey?" Something like that. That sounds like a movie quote, but that's actually what he said (or similar).
I responded simply, "Yes", and he asked a couple more times, and I said "Yes" a couple more times. And when I said it, I said it seriously as if answering a ligitimate question. At that point, his mental gears (both of them) were spinning trying to figure out what to do. So that's when he made mistake #2. "If you stare at me one more time, we'll see what happens. Don't even look over at me."

Inside Tip #2: Don't threaten me.

Again, this is an older guy, and I'd like to think we live in a civil society. The absolute last thing I would ever do would be to get up and respond in any physically threatening fashion, or yell, or do anything equally as stupid as what he was doing. It was really pretty silly... what did he really think he was going to accomplish? He should've licked his wounds and went home at that point.

While in some respects I agree with the boy scouts, Inside Tip #2 prevails. He went back to his table, sat down and looked over at me, and there I was staring at him.

Now, the poor guy is just lost.

It was really pretty bizarre. Gina asked what that was all about, and I really didn't know. I was on one side of the table, gina was on the other. 45 degrees to the right was the booth wall. 45 degrees to the left was that guy's table. If ever I wasn't looking at Gina, then really that's the only other place my gaze could've naturally gone, though it certainly wouldn't have gone to that guy of all people. There was no eye contact, and if he walked by in another circumstance, I probably wouldn't even have recognized him from that table. Now, though, I took notes.

Older cranky dude was there with his wife, a younger couple, and the younger couple's two kids. So, I'm thinking Grand Parents, Parents, Grand Children. They looked like a nice family. I still think 5/6ths of them probably were, but #6 didn't take his meds or something. I made a point of looking over to the guy several times, and staring whenever appropriate. When a waiter walked by, I asked him to get the manager. The guy yelled something over at that point, but I don't remember what it was. I responded "Don't worry, I'm getting the manager."

Now, the guy tried to get witty and it didn't work. He flagged down a waitress and asked her to send the manager to my table. She knew something was amiss and stopped by first. "You need a manager?", "Yes, we already let someone know." So, I called over to the guy to thank him for his help.

Somewhere along the way, he started giving me that italian flick under the chin. I mock laughed at it enthusiastically and made like he finally landed a shot. Its hard to describe what I did, but some combination of the words "sarcastic" and "mocking" applies. Then he shook his fist, which was pretty pathetic. I think I heard a bone crack.

The manager made his way over, and I told him quite simply. "That guy just came over and threatened me. I just want you to be aware of it incase it escalates." The manager didn't know what to do. He asked if wanted to change seats. Of course not. Even Gina said no to that, and she's the more level headed of the two of us in these types of situations. The manager didn't really know what to do then. He started to apologize. He was more anxious than us... word must've been going around. I told him "don't apologize, you don't have to do anything, I just want you to be aware of what's happening."

Somewhere during that conversation, Cranky (that my new nickname for him) came over to tell the manager I was staring at him. He said something like "He was leaning foward staring at me like a... well, I won't even say like what".

That's the most confusing part. I've been trying to fill in the blank for 6 hours, and I have nothing. I have no idea what he could've possibly ended that sentence with. The fact that he didn't say it suggests it would've been something offensive to someone. I considered giving him a point for that (more on scores, later), but he probably didn't know what he was going to say either, so he doesn't deserve a point. (Its my scoring system. I can do it any way I like!)

Now for a family update. He started raising his voice to his wife. His wife was probably telling him to stop being an idiot or something. The son (or son-in-law) didn't turn around once. He wanted nothing to do with it. The daughter (or daughter-in-law) took her daughter and left the restaraunt. By the time it was all done, he left alone.

I'm not really keeping track of the score, but if I had to guess, I'd say:

Jay: 18
Cranky: 0

Then he just couldn't shut up. He tried threatening another ultimatum, so of course I kept occasionaly staring at him at that point. I wasn't real obnoxious about it, but whenever I looked over and he was looking at me, I didn't turn away (See Insider Tip #2). When he got up to leave, I waved to him and told him to have a good night. He did that chin flicking thing again, so I laughed again and told gina about it. He didn't like that at all. His threats and flicks and fist shaking were nothing more than the amusing antics of a cranky older guy who just didn't have a chance.

I'm still puzzled by the whole thing. It was the weirdest thing that has ever happened to me in a restaraunt. Honestly, we were just sitting there talking.

Gina was a little paranoid at that point. She thought the guy was going to be outside with a gun, or run us over. Once again, I mentally played the odds and determined that to be highly unlikely. (Sooner or later, the odds will catch up with me.) Even if he had that type of intent, he was with his family. Surely they would talk him out of it. (Other scenarios played out in my head, which I didn't share.) As we left the restaraunt, I took precautionary measures to be safe, but it was unnecessary.

As I said, Gina is the more level headed. After the guy left the first time, she would've been content to just leave it at that. She's a better boy scout than me. If I let him walk over, threaten me, then walk away, he would've won. You could argue "that would make you the better person", but I don't buy that because he wouldn't be able to appreciate it. He'd just think he won, not "I'm an idiot and he let me win".

One of my other inner monologues somewhere along the way was "I have to learn how to back down". I wondered how it would play out differently if Jack was there. I would like to think that it wouldn't have happened at all because maybe Cranky would be human enough to say "Hey, there's an infant, maybe I'll just sit here and eat my oatmeal in peace.", but who knows. I'm way too stubborn in confrontations, which is why I avoid them as often as possible. I really think that Cranky thought he would come over, put me in my place (for no reason whatsoever), and be done with it. As soon as he made that first threat, there was absolutely no way that was going to happen. Gina and I don't see eye to eye on these types of things. She's the more riteous.

After he left, the waitress stopped by and said "The people at my other tables want you to stop staring at them." That was pretty funny. The manager stopped by, still a little revved up but making light of it. I tried to assure him that we really were just sitting there, but he already knew that. He suggested that I go into the Witness Protecton Program, referring to the tv show "In Plain Sight". I laughed outwardly to be polite, but internally the very suggestion made me ill.

After reading this a couple times, I have come up with some additional analysis. I bet that Generation #2 was the daughter and son-in-law. Even though they were embarrassed, and Cranky was clearly wrong, the 2nd generation guy probably would've stepped up to defend Cranky if Cranky was his father. As it was, Cranky was probably just his embarrassing father-in-law, whom he will never go to a restaraunt with again.


The situation reminds me of the Great Lucille's incident of 2005 (year is approximated). That was a good one, though I wasn't as riteous in that tale. I wasn't the procrastinator, but I let it go to far. But that, my friends, is another story for another day.

In the interest of defending myself before you start thinking I'm a bad person to eat with:
My total count of negative restaraunt experiences is 2; they just happen to be within a few years of each other. I suspect that's just an anamoly and don't expect to have anymore. The first one was due to a bunch of unfortunate things coming to a head at the same time. The second time (outback tonight) was completely out of left field; It had nothing to do with me, I just happened to be there and I don't play well with others when they threaten me. Statistically, that shouldn't happen again.

Lunch, anyone?

More Burnout Paradise

I was waiting for the CAGNEY update to burnout paradise for a long time. Then, when it was finally supposed to be released, it got delayed about 3 weeks. That's ok; I always think its better to delay and do it right rather than release something that's not ready to go. (The same goes for movies).

Its been out for at least a week, but after a long hiatus, I didn't immediately jump back into it. I've been doing a lot of other activities and didn't want to stop just because a new game update came out.

That hiatus came to an end last night. I played for at least 2 hours, and once again, I had an absolute blast. The online game is so much fun. They added 70 new events. I went through a few of them, and they're all fun. Its an excellent online experience.

I'm working on making Carlos an addict. We played at lunch time today, then for a little while after work. We'll see if he keeps coming back to more. I've been trying to emphasise, for months, how important the online play is, but I wasn't able to get through to him. Maybe that has now changed.

Now that I'm back into it, I expect to spend many more hours playing it. There's another update coming out later this month (supposedly. Lets see if it makes it), then another one in the fall. I don't know if the fall one is free or not... they make a big deal about saying FREE for all of the other updates, but I haven't seen the word FREE in association with the fall release. It doesn't matter. If its not free, I'll buy it. Its more an issue of curiousity than anything.

Online good times have resumed.

More of Jay's internet foolishness

Greetings

I added a new feature to DvdFriend yesterday. Basically, it a NEWS section at the top of the main page. I'm going to use that as an outlet for my musing of upcoming movies and DVDs. If you want more Jay foolishness, then I urge you to got to http://www.dvdfriend.us and subscribe to the news feed and/or the movie review feed.

Dark City, Director's Cut

I was browsing around that internet thing this morning, and came across word of DARK CITY: DIRECTOR'S cut.... and its coming out this week!

http://www.dvdfriend.us/p.aspx?pid=39e21fdf-875a-4c74-b63d-40e3dcd3a220

I don't want to say too much about it incase you haven't seen it. As you watch it, you may compare it to other movies possibly with disdain until you realize that Dark City came out before most of those other movies.

Its good solid sci-fi, but according to the director he had to make concessions to the studio at the time of the release. The director's cut is about 11 minutes longer, though I don't know if the rest of the movie has been juggled around at all.

If you haven't seen it, then I strongly recommend at least renting it if you're a sci fi fan.

The big 36

Wednesday was my 36th birthday. At least, I think I'm 36. I checked with my sister Amy, and she agrees. We had an incidident about 10 years ago where I thought I was 27 turning 28, and Amy corrected me. She told me I was actually about to turn 27. I argued at first; after all, its me. I know how old I am, right? Wrong. If I ever forget my age, I immediately consult Amy.

Gina's over 5 months pregnant. Usually she likes to make a big deal out of my birthday. I don't object much. I figured this year we could take it easy. So, rather than have a cookout over the weekend as she would usually do, she prepared a turkey dinner four about 20 people. Very relaxing for her.

The dinner was on Wednesday night. I really didn't expect friends from work to attend due to it being the middle of the week, but they did.

The first course was lasangna, courtesy of Gina's mother. The second course was the turkey; thanksgiving in July. Good stuff. That was followed up by chocolate cake, and Carvel ice cream cake. Heavenly.

Carlos brought his Wii, and Mike brought his controllers. We played 4-way Mario Cart for a while. The competition was fierce.

This year's theme was Kung Fu Panda. Gina is in serious denial about my age. I warned people in advance about the themes. Jack will be here next year. I can then attribute the themes to his presence; this year, though, all I can do is shrug and hope everyone enjoyed it.

Getting old.

Why should every retail establishment sell Arizona Iced Tea?

Because I like it.

Everglades? What's that?

I spilled some orange juice this morning. The nearest things available to wipe it up included a roll of paper towels, a pile of napkins, a dry-vac, 3 dogs, a portable particle accelerator, and a map of Florida. Of course, I chose the map of Florida to wipe it up, and as I did so I accidentally took notice of the southern part of the state. I consulted Gina, and we were both surprised to learn that the state does extended further south than the fair city of Ft. Lauderdale. Oh sure. There's a lot more down there including a little thing called "the everglades".

We made a point of going to the everglades to explore this strange new land, and perhaps stake a flag to claim the land as our own. Unfortunately, some ohter civilization had found it before us, so territorial conquests are not forthcoming.

We went to a place called "The Shark Valley Loop". We didn't see any sharks, and "valley" is only accurate in the strictest definition of the term: lowland between two high lands. In this case, the highlands are still very low, but they are above sea level and they're above the lowland, so the term is technically appropriate... but barely.

Shark Valley consists of a 15 mile one lane road that you can travel on by foot, bike or tram. Gina's pregnant, and I'm lazy, so we went with the tram.

Unlike the "Diva Duck Non-Tour" that we participated in yesterday, this was actually educational. There weren't any duck puns, which was refreshing. The tour guide was named Jose. He spoke very good english, but with a strong accent. He kept pluralizing some words that are already pluralized. "Watch your childrens", etc. He had a bunch of jokes, most of which were mildly entertaining.

About 1/2 way through the loop, there's an observation tower. They say its 50 feet high, which didn't sound very impressive, but it actually is when you get there. Everything is so flat that 50 feet goes along way.

We saw a lot of alligators, all at a safe distance. On the ramp up to the observation tower, you can look down and see at least a dozen of them. Of all the alligators we saw, though, not a single one was moving. It was mid-day. They were all just chilling out. I wanted to poke them with a stick, but apparently that's ill-advised. Besides, I wouldn't have been able to pick up a stick without getting arrest for disrupting a national preserve or something. It wasn't worth the risk.

The weather was perfect for the outing. It was hot, but there was a great cool breeze.

Right outside the park, there's a restaraunt. God, it was awful. The next time we're in the neighborhood, I'm going to make a point of not going there again. In fact, I may plan a day trip back to the everglades that's built around not going to that restaraunt again. Just awful. I was afraid to get an iced-tree refill. The wetlands should definitely be allowed to reclaim that property.

Diva Duck

Today, in an effort to get out of the house, Gina and I did the "Diva Duck" tour of West Palm Beach. The Diva Duck is a truck and a boat all in one. Boston has them too. So does Alaska.

The tour is based at City Place in West Palm Beach. We've seen it a bunch of times, but never did the tour before. It turns out that "tour" is a pretty inaccurate term. Its fun, but its really just a ride. They point out the houses of rich people and make up some numbers as they go. "5 or 10 years ago, they rebuilt that boat." Which was it? 5 years ago or 10 years ago?

The fact that they had no idea didn't really detract from the fun. There were a bunch of kids on board, most of which got a kick out of it. The non-tour guide was friendly enough. There were a lot of duck puns. The funniest part was the blaring war music as we went from land to sea.

As usual, I got a little motion sick on the boat. It wasn't too bad... just enough to remind me that I'm a big wuss when it comes to unstable motion.

I went on a whale watch with my company probably 10 years ago. I spent most of the time keeled over until my boss found some dramamine for me. I went sky diving twice. I didn't get phsyically sick either time, but boy... it was close (especially the first time). I can do roller coasters fine, but I keep away from most other rides.

Then, of course, there's the world famouse "Great Helicopter Hurl of 2002". That's actually a funny story, in my humble opinion. I shall elborate if demand requests it.

Anyway, we finsihed the Diva Duck Non-Tour, then went to the Cheesecake Factory for lunch. Then we went home. Good times.

There were a bunch of "red had ladies" on the tour. I don't know if that's their actual name or not, but they are all female and they were all wearing distinct red hats. I've never seen that before, other than on the Simpsons. The simpsons had pink had ladies, I think. They turned out to be a bunch of thieves incognito. Now I see that they were probably basing that on the Red Hat Ladies, though I had no idea that such a thing existed when I saw the episode.

How terribly exciting.

It's a boy! - New blog

For those of you that know me personally, you probably already know that our baby is a boy. For baby related news, please jump over to: http://babyallard.blogspot.com

Lots of 5s lately

RE: http://www.dvdfriend.us

I saw two movies this weekend: Speed Racer and RedBelt. I gave them both 5's.
I finished reading ENDER'S SHADOW this week, and I also gave that a 5.
That means that there's been a lot of consecutive excellence.

My original thought was to give Speed Racer a 4, but the more I think about it, the more I like it. With one exception, I can't really find anything wrong with it. Its a sensory blast. I don't see what people don't like.

And RedBelt is good solid story telling and character development.

The point is to express that I'm not tossing around the 5s as if I love everything I see. Its just been an unusally good week.

Slingbox Videos

The website videos on http://www.slingbox.com are all pretty funny. We have a slingbox pro, and I was taking a look to see what's new. The videos have changed since the last time I went there.

When you first go to the site, it shows you a video. If you browse around a bit, then go back to the home page, it shows a different video.

Funny stuff. Cool site.

An ode to Burnout Paradise

After many many hours of pure gaming joy, I have at last achieved 100% completion in the XBOX 360 version of burnout paradise.

Not since Burnout Revenge have I spent this ludicrous amount of time playing any one game. Its absurd, really, but I loved every second of it.

For my totally disorganized review and commentary, click below.

DvdFriend Review

The trouble with feet

When I was a kid, maybe between 20 and 22, I wrote a documentary about my foot. I don't recall if it was my left foot or right foot, but it was definitely a foot. Clearly, a sequel is overdue. (I'll find the original and post it). But, since I don't have time to fully document today's experience, I'll keep it to blog length.

Today I decided to go out to get some lunch. While driving about, I realized I needed an oil change. I have to drive to work tomorrow, so I really should get it done today. I dropped the car off. I had to be back to the home office for a 1:15 meeting. The car wouldn't be done by 1:15, so I had to decide between walking back or participating in the call via phone only; no computer or live meeting, etc. Unfortunately, I was wearing sandals (otherwise known as flip-flops), which was a factor in the decision.

Being a responsible employee, I decided to walk home despite my inadequate footwear. By my calculations, it should have taken 30 minutes which would give me 15 minutes to not prep for the meeting. If I was wearing sneakers, then I probably could've knocked 10 or 15 minutes off by jogging parts of it. But, for now, the walk would have to do. But, before beginning the Trek, I stopped at 7-11 for a hotdog and Arizona.

The 7-11 is a nice clean store. The guy at the register was on a personal call, and I felt bad interrupting him in order to by products. I felt worse when I had to interrupt him again to ask for a plastic bag. Sometimes I'm too rude and inconsiderate. In retrospect, I should've waited until a more convenient time for him.

Then I began the journey. I was at least 75% along when I realized I didn't have my keys. Bogus. I knew they weren't at the car place because they removed the car key and gave me the rest of them. Damn you 7-11! I called them, fearing that I would interrupt again. It took a few tries to properly translate their 1/2 of the conversation, but once we leapt the communication divide, I learned that they did have them. (However, I do question their security policies. "Do your keys have a blue flashlight and a Mobile speedpass?")

Now what do I do? Do I continue the walk home and use the emergency key to get in the house, go to the meeting, and return later? (I locked myself out once before and had to kick in a window. Since then, there's an emergency key on stand by). If it wasn't the 7-11, then that would've been a reasonable option. But, my visit and subsequent call didn't instill an aire of confidence or reliability. The sooner I got the keys back, the better.

Once again, the flip-flops were a factor. The tops of my feet were starting to mildly blister due to the straps. So, off came the flip-flops. I walked most of the way back barefoot until my heels started to blister, then returned to the flip flops. I retrieved my keys, then called into the meeting remotely.

What can we learn from all this?
1 - Stop being lazy and put some shoes on
2 - Don't leave your keys at 7-11
3 - Never go get an oil change expecting that you're just getting an oil change. There's always something else to be done. (Alignment. New air filter. Fuel Injection Flush. Expensive oil change...)

Oh, one more thing. My cell phone ran out of juice about 15 minutes before the meeting ended. Perfect! (Cue the lightning.)

A moment of silence for "Jericho"

Jericho is cancelled... again. Since writing the review linked to below, I've read some other articles that all thought Season 2 wasn't any good. For whatever reason, I have the opposite impression. It feels different from Season 1; it feels as if they knew they only had 8 episodes to do lots of stuff. By no coincidence, that was exactly the case, so it was paced different.

Maybe I'm the minority, but 2 sold me. 1 did not.

http://www.dvdfriend.us/Read.aspx?bid=d2bc2e33-05cf-42a9-b4cc-7a1d839c4aeb

Ick - I bought the PS3

I feel so dirty. After 16 years, I bought a Sony product. I'm disgusted with myself. I called it "Gina's birthday gift" hoping that would help, but alas, I can't fool myself.

I bought the PS3 on Monday 3/17/2008. It's now Monday 3/24/2008. Its still in the box. I keep looking at it, then run to the toilet to vomit. Its a vicious cycle that has left me exhausted and continuously hungry, and has caused a measurable amount of tooth decay.

A few minutes ago, I came close to opening it, then changed my mind. It deserves to just sit there a while longer. We have the spiderman trilogy and SuperBad (borrowed) ready to watch, but clearly I'm not emotionally ready to watch these films.

When will I actually open it? When I stop circling around the drain, and finally fall through, it will be time. Maybe then I can start rebuilding my life.

Stargate Driven Update

STARGATE : THE ARK OF TRUTH came out last week. I added the product, but no rating because I haven't seen it yet. By design, it didn't show up on the COMING SOON list on the right side of the new page.

When I added the coming soon section, I made it so that not every product in the system would show up. That's how it used to work, but there's a lot of crap released on a week by week basis. I'd rather that section focus on things that are likely to provoke interest. So, I made it so that it only shows products that have a rating or a WEIGHT < 99. By default, WEIGHT = 99, and there wasn't a way to change that on the page. I knew it would come up sooner or later. ARK OF TRUTH made it sooner.

I added a COMING SOON checkbox on the product admin page. Whenever a product is added, the ADDEE has the option to force it to appear on the page. It does so by changing the weight to 1.

There are a lot of theatrical releases that I don't get to see. If the site has any hope of ever making a dime, then it can't just show the movies that I or other contributors have seen. It has to include what other people would like to see. We now have the stupid-little-tool to do that.

It was a minor update. I added a CHECKBOX with AUTOPOSTBACK = TRUE. The CheckChangeEvent calls a static method in the RELEASE object. The Release object performs the update. Ta-da!

The Oscars 2008

PROLOGUE
I wasn't planning on doing a running dialog. I was working on something else and using my slingbox to watch the awards. Then I felt obligated to make some comments about the Catherine Heigl appeareance, and didn't stop. I backfilled comments on what happened before that.

The keen observer may detect that I'm not a big fan of the oscars. I love movies. I like to watch them, comment on them, discuss them (at a shallow level) and add them to my DVD collection. I even have a site for that purpose. But, at the same time, I'm not real big on people celebrating themselves. A lot of it is really pretentious and meaningless. As you'll see later, I lost a lot of respect for Cate Blanchette in a span of about 2 minutes. Additionally, we have to listen to the opinions of people (often political), when I'm not interested in their opinions. You're an actor. Act. If you want be political, be a politician. Or, at least respect that the oscar show is an entertainment soap box, not a political one, and choose the proper venue to exercise your american right to speak your mind. (Incidentally, there wasn't too much of that this year).

I make fun of a lot of things. I found the soldiers in Iraq bit particularly annoying. Its a matter of perspective. Maybe that was the highlight of their tour, in which case, good for them. If they got enjoyment out of it, they deserved it. No foul. But, the way I see it is: "Hey, we're over here getting shot at and bombed every day. Do you think maybe you can melt down that statue into a flat plate so I can wear it under my shirt? That'd be awesome. If not, have fun clapping each other on the back and celebrating how awesome you all are." Of course, the converse of that is that they're fighting so that we can carry on with our daily lives in a normal fashion. The normal fashion includes the Oscars, but if something now seems so much less important, shouldn't it be treated as such?

I understand that this is huge for the people winning the awards, and I'm happy for them. But, you don't need to wear an 8 thousand dollar gown to a show that's trying to convince us to go green. How green is a convention center filled with thousands of people that have spent the last year creating massive movies? What's the electric bill for tonight alone nevermind all of the work and energy that lead up to it over the course of the hundreds of movies that made the event possible?

When I'm done with this blog, I'll probably go watch some TV or play some XBOX 360. Or maybe I'll surf the web and read the latest on AintItCoolNews. I'll mentally record some material for banter with the guys at work tomorrow. But, I'll always remember that its trivial, and I won't pretend its anything more than that. I certainly won't get on stage and high-five myself for winning a race in Burnout Paradise, nor will I thank God or my family for my computer skills.


Lastly: This is a rant. I typed it as it happened via our DVR. I'm going to give it one cleanup pass to fix whatever typos I happen to notice, but I'm not going to fundamentally change a single thing. It'll be a mess. Roll with it. I made one huge mistake that I'm really tempted to correct, but I won't.


Now, on to the 80th Annual academy awards.

Opening special effects... that was neat.
Opening monologue.. i'm a huge Jon Stewaret fan, but not funny.

Jennifer Garner - I'm not going to enjoy this show at all. I like Jennifer Garner, too, but everything about this is so pretentious. This will probably drive me mad.

Steve Carrell and Anne Hathaway... .mildly amusing.

Catherine Hiegel - So you're nervous... so what? There's no need to share that with us. ACT like you're not nervous. The music starts up during the acceptance speech again.. what was the award again?

John Stewart introduces the first musical. He's singing enchanted himself... not funny. Now Amy Adams is in character. I'm really annoyed already, and she's only sung about 8 words. I'm impressed that the actress can sing her own part, though. It doesn't make it any less tolerable, just a little more respectful. Gina just fast forwarded through the rest of it. Thank god.

Flashback to Cateherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas... who cares.

Back from the commercial. A few more jokes. Not funny still. Here comes The Rock to introduce the special effects award. He's reflecting on his Raiders of the Lost Ark experience... tolerable.
Nominees: Golden Compass, Pirates of the Carribean at Worlds End, Transformers.
My vote: Transformers (didn't see golden compass though)
Crap. Golden Compass won.
Gina fast forwarded through the acceptance speech.

Cate Blanchett, double nominee is there to present Art Direction.
Shot of Harrison Ford and Ally McBeal. Its good to see those kids gettig along.
American Gangster, Atonement, Golden Compass, Sweeney Todd, There will be Blood
I haven't seen any of these movies. I would like to see American Gangster and There Will Be Blood.
I have no opinion on this award.
Uhhhh... was too busy typing. Who won? Fastforward through the acceptance speech. Flash of Johnny Depp... probably Sweeney Todd, then.

Jon Steward kissing up to Cate Blanchette... waiting for the bad joke. There it is... Cate was a pitbull. Double-whammy.... now she's playing Jon Stewart.

Flashbacks to previous presenters. Interesting. Yay. Cuba Gooding Jr won in 1997... way to keep your compsure. Everyone claps politely (in flashback), then standing O, trying to get him to shut up.

Enter jennifer Hudson. Not what I was expecting because Jennifer Hudson is not Kate Hudson, and I was expecting Kate Hudson. Not that there's anything wrong with Jennifer.... its just that Kate came to mind.
Nominees: Casey Affleck in Jesse James, some complicated name in No Country for Old Men, Philip Seymour Hoffman in Charlie Wilson's War. (I never got to that either). Hal Holbrook in into the Wild. I only saw NO COUNTRY, so no preference here. Hey, the kid in INTO THE WILD is the kid from Speed Racer, right? Tom Wilkinson in Michael Clayton. He's always good. I'll change my vote to him just because he usually deserves it. The guy with the complicated name won for NO COUNTRY. Javier? Gina's not fast forwarding through this. Can we infer anything from that? Either she's out cold or is interested in this guy. He's speaking fast in spanish. Previously he made a hair cut joke which, while I didn't laugh, I at least considered laughing.

Fast forward through commercials.

Better luck this time Jon. Lets see what happens. He just proclaimed that Javier had a moment, and now he's translating the spanish. "I believe he told his mother where the library is". Impomptu? yes. Funny? Sorry. Now for a salute to binoculars and periscopes. This is.... educational? Useful? I don't know. Seems pointless. There's a writers joke in there somewhere, but I find it pointless. BAD DREAMS : AN OSCAR SALUTE. Everyone's waking up. Fantastic. Are the writers REALLY back to work? If so, what are they doing?

The star of August Rush, Kerri Russel. Oh oh, another nominated song. Is she going to sing too, or is Amy Adams the exception? Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah... talk more talk more talk more talk, now a performance of RAISE IT UP. Now would be a good time to fast forward. If I have to sit through the entire song, I can't be held responsible for my actions. Ok, there we go. Fast forwarded... stopped a little early, more fast forwarding.

Jon applauds. Wait for it... complimenting an 11 year old singer.

Now for academy awared nominee... Owen Wilson??? What was he nominated for? Playing the same character in the most consecutive movies? He's presenting live action short film.... he playing it straight. Maybe he's nervous about not having Vince Vaughn or Will Ferrell around. They introduced all of the short movies, but I wasn't paying attention. LE MOZARD DES PICK POCKETS won. Fast forward through the speech.

Oh boy. The bee from THE BEE MOVIE is presenting. It sounds a lot like Jerry Seinfeld. Unfunny clips of movies that have bees. Waiting for tommy boy..... There's rushmore. The Swarm. No Tommy Boy. I guess there weren't actually bees in there, just an emulation of them. Presenting short film (not live action). A few foreign movies that I can't keep up with, but the aimation is interesting in all of them. Peter and the Wolf looks like its form the 1950s.... hey, it won? Must've been a good movie despite barbaric animation. (I only saw a quick clip, but it looked like old school stop motion). Fastforward through the speech.

More flashbacks of previous presenters. We might've just skipped an award, but I'm not sure.

More clips for best supporting actress. Hey, there's jennifer hudson again. Looks like she won something somewhere along the way. Alan Arkin presents. Wasn't he in Jerky Boys? What happened there... "Golden age is still alive...". Here's one of Cate Blanchett's first nomination. She's playing Bob Dylan. Isn't Bob a guy? I'll check IMDB. Ruby Dee in American Gangster. Never heard of her and I didn't see the movie. Good luck. She's staring gape mouthed at her own performance. A girl from atonement.... didn't see it either, but she looks like she's good at repeating the same line over an over. Amy Ryan in Gone Baby Gone. I did see that. She played boston white trailer trash very well. "Its really Haa(r)d being a motha". Woman from Michael Clayton... missed the name. Do people still wear pearl necklaces, or is she eccentric? She looks familiar... was she the queen in NARNIA. She was excellent in that (if it was her). Her name is Tilda Swinshon and she just won. Assuming she was in Narnia, I concur. Awkard and stuttering at the microphone... comparing the statue to her agent. Sure, say "buttocks". Its ok. We won't judge you. Music should start any second now... i have the feeling she'll keep going anyway. Thanking 45 people at a leisurely pace. Batman and Robin joke. I like her.... saying George Clooney still dresses up as batman every day. She beat the music. That was a pleasant win.

More clips from previous awards. Jessica Alba is coming up after the commercials. Fast forward. Oh yes. Fast forward. Keep going. I don't want an acura. I'm not painting my house. Ok, here's Jessica Alba. God what died on her chest? Some purple monstrosity... it may be eating her alive. Jessica had the honor of presenting the SCIENTIFICAL TECHNICAL awards. She's blasting through the winners. Lets make sure they feel good about themselves even though the academy couldn't skip some bad jokes and make room for them in the prime time show. Oh, Jessica's pregnant. I forgot about that. Jon was kind enough to remind me. Cate is pregnant too. Coincidence? Probably.

Josh Brolin and James McAvoy(?) are presenting now. Apparently they've been practicing. They're doing famous lines. Now he's apoogizing to Jack Nicholson for a bad impression. That was good... not forced, not pretentious. The nominees for something are ATONEMENT, AWAY FROM HER, DIVING BELL AND THE BUTTERFLY, and NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN, THERE WILL BE BLOOD. Looks like its a music award. No preference here. NO COUNTRY won. While they do their thing: Sarah Polley directed one of the nominated movies. Good for her. Isn't she in her mid to late 20s, thereabouts? Excellent work. Acceptance speech... not fast forwarding. Gina must be snoring. These guys are awkward, but handled it well.

Now for the president of the academy of.... something something and something. What's this all about? Tip: Never start a story with "A lot of people ask me...". This guy seems down to earth, which I always like to see. He's calm and collected, comfortable at his task. Now we're getting a tutorial of how the academy works. This is cool. I've always been curious. I'm not sure if a 2 minute clip will satiate my thrist for knowledge, but we'll see. Now they're making jokes about how they choose their winners. Now clips to previous jokes about academy voting. PWC does the ballot counting. The president just got a door slammed on his face.

Back to Mr. Stewart. "That was amazing". Well said, sir. Well said. Political joke about super delegates. Welcome Mylie Syrus? Who's she? Oh boy, another song from enchanted. Maybe this is a disney girl. She's well composed though a little rehearsed... never stopped to take a breath. Ok there's singing now. Why aren't we fast forwarding? I should call my mother-in-law to see if she can stop by and see if Gina's ok. I couldn't possibly stop blogging long enough to go check for myself. If a commercial comes on and she doesn't fast forward, I'll probably have to call 911. I think this song is an Al Quaeda torture technique. Ok, good, we're fast forwarding. Not far enough, but I appreciate the effort. Will this ever end?

Commercials. Fast forward. The superman chic is in a Loreal commercial. I just read she's going to be in the wolverine movie, i think? was that it?

Jon Stewart. Jessica Alba is pregnant. Cate Blanchett is pregnant, and so is Nicole Kidman. "The baby goes to.... Angelina Jolie". Ok, that was funny. "Its tough to get 17 babysitters on oscar night".

Judy Dench and Halle Berry. I REALLY hope the make some James Bond jokes. Hey, that's not them. Its the SUPER BAD guys running their lines. This might be funny.... Ok, its funnyish. They're arguing about who should play Halle Berry. Best sound editting: Bourne Ultimatum... i saw that! No Country... I saw that too! Ratatoille... there goes my win streak. Didn't see it. There will be blood. Didn't see it. Transofmers.... Once again, I vote for Transfomers. Once again, it didn't win. Bourne Ultimatum is a good alternative though.

Tranformers should win technical type awards. Its nearly flawless. I really like Bourne Ultimatum too, but the sound isn't a real memorable part of it. Acceptance speech. "Golly, I drew a blank". "Gee wiz, me too. Boy, we're awkward. Hey, we were lying about drawing a blank, but blew it." Here comes the music. Get off the stage. Go. Get off the stage. Here's non-halle and non-judy dench again. More variations of the same joke. Now for sound mixing: Bourne Ultimatum again, No Country, Ratatouille, 3:10 to Yuma, Transfomers. I'll vote for transformers, but will expect BOURNE to win again. The winner is.... Bourne. 3 people making their way to the stage. I can't wait. The bourne trilogy is excellent.... I give all 3 of them highest ratings. One guy wants to kiss non-halle berry. The guy on the right can't stand still. Fast forwarding....

Best actress flashbacks, some emotional memories. The real halle berry... shut up! Its a statue. Your an actress. Save the world, then cry. Until then, pretend you're a professional.

Forest Wittaker presents. Good Morning Vietnam was a good movie. I haven't seen VANTAGE POINT yet. He's talking about Marlon Brando. Finally, the best actress nominees. Cate Blanchette in Elizabeth. She should win everything she gets nominated for. Now she's grimacing at her performance. Judy Christi in Away from Her.... never heard of it. She doesn't grimace at herself. The next one is a foreign name in a foreign film. I'd love to type it in, but I only know american words. She smiles at her own performance. Well done. Laura Linney in the Savaages. I didn't hear of this either. She mentioned B26. I don't know what B26 is, but District B13 is a blast. Ellen Paige in Juno. I really want to see Juno.... looks and sounds like a cool movie. The actress seems very good from what I've seen. The foreign lady got it. Cate Blanchette just burst into an excited onslaugh of applause. I've lost a lot of respect for her in the last 2 minutes... really fraudulent. Polite appluse would've been sufficient. If you don't want to win, stop showing up. Acceptance speech... "you rocked my life..." fast forward.

Oh, they're playing the WII. Jon and... Jemiah? Who's she? Ooops, the cameras are on... feign shock. That was funny... WII on a 40 foot screen is good stuff.

Colin Farrell is presenting something. Loved his work in scrubs. He's making floor cleaning recommendations to the maintenance staff. Now he's introducing.... oh no, here we go again... another song. "Falling Slowly" from the movie Once. I'm watching this via a slingbox, so I can choose to go fastforward myself, but that might break my rhythm. Should I risk it, or is Gina going to get on the ball and fast forward? I guess she likes this song, so I'll use this time to talk about my cold. Its fresh on my mind because I just finished coughing. I've had it since wednesday of last week (i think). At first it was a sore throat, which sucked. I thought it would pass after that. Since then, I've been slightly congested and blowing my nose a lot. But, honestly, I don't mind too much. I'd prefer to not have it, but its better than a sore throat. I can deal with blowing my nose. Ok... a little fast forwarding. Not much. Back to the program.

Jack Nicholson is presenting. I think that's an automatic standing ovation. Jack loves the movies. They entertain, they offer hope, they give us dramas, they take us to places we've never been. He seems bored. They inspire us, challenge us, and despite our differences they are the common something with humanity.... yadda yadda... I kept up pretty good for a while there. The best picture nominees... Flashbacks to previous awards. The first several are black and white. My monitor is broken in the lower right corner (see previous post) so I can't see the years, but I think they're showing every year. I could reduce the size of the window, but then how would I type? Hey, we're into the color movies now. Oh wait, more black and white. How'd that happen? Color again. THE BRIDGE OVER THE RIVER KWAI... that was good. BEN HUR... we once watched the 2nd 1/2 not realizing we missed the first 1/2. Awkard. Oliver... I think I remember that. Patton. French Connection. Godfather. Sting. Godfather Part 2. Cuckoos Nest... that was great. Rocky. Annie Hall. Deer Hunter. Kramer Vs. Kramer. Ordinary People. Chariots of Fire. Ghandi. Terms of Endearment. Amadeus. Out of Africa. Platoon. The Last Emperor. Rain Man. Driving Miss Daisy. Dances with Wolves. Silence of the Lambs. Unforgiven. Schindlers List. Forrest Gump. Brave Heart. English Patient. Titanic. Shakespeare in Love. Americal Beauty. Gladiator. Beautiful Mind. Chicago. LOTR:ROTK. million dollar baby, crash, departed..... now..... ummmm..... Rene Zellwegger. The nominees: Bourne... really? I liked it, but doesn't seem like best picture caliber. DIVING BELL. Heard of it. Into the Wild. No Country. There will be blood. Hopefully Bourne. Wow!!!!! It won?!!?!?! That's amazing. I never would've thought that as a best picture. It doesn't seem academyish. I gave it a 5 and loved it. Fast forward.

Is this the end of the show? I thought that was usually the last award. Jon's bonding with the orchestra.

I guess its not over. Nicole Kidman, start of a new untilted film, is presenting. Is she really pregnant? I watched TO DIE FOR a couple weeks ago. Good movie. Ok, enough with the chit chat. Lets get on with it. Its an award for Robert Boyle, an art guy for 7 decades over 100 films. He's 98 now. My office just got hot.... or maybe its been hot all along, but I was so engrossed with blogging that I didn't notice it. I definitely have to turn the fan on. Pardon me. Ok, I'm back. They're still showing the clips from Robert's body of work. This award seems unfair. He's the only nominee... how's can he possibly lose? This is a gimme if I ever saw one. Oh, I see. Its an honorary oscar. I'd like one of those. Obligatory standing ovation... he's 98. Sure, flaunt how easy it is for you stand. Make it uncomfortable for him. Now he feels like he has to stand too. He's hardly hanging on... lets wrap up the clapping so he can do his thing. He's still sharp as a tack (assuming he has always been.) Well spoken, thanking people, reflection, etc. Oops... a little stammering. Hang in there Robert. He's talking about people I never heard of, which is understandable. Talking about a guy named Hitch, and his wife (was there something going on between those 2?). They're showing a balcony of people who are presumably his family. He has this whole speech memorized... unless there's a teleprompter that I don't see, but he's looking around, so I don't think so. There's Harrison and Ally again. How does that happen? Is that Viggo? Seriously, the next time you have a big fight scene, wear some clothes. Then we can watch it. Eastern Promises was more disturbing than Borat. Speech is over... I feel another standing O coming on. Well, we can't see it. They're going to a commercial. Fast forward.

Jon Stewart. Bring it. Laughing at himself. Technical glitch; restart the show. Not funny. Here's Penelope Cruz with some linguistic jokes. She speaks four languages. Maybe she should perfect one. Well, maybe not. The accent is part of her presence I suppose. She's introducing foreign movies... is this a foreign movie award? I think they're all war based, so obviously nothing from France. Oh, a dancing movie from russia. The COUNTERFEITERS won. I think I heard an article about that on NPR. A bunch of people were "recruited" by the Nazis to make foreign currency. It was an interesting story. I'll have to rent it.

Patrick Dempsey from enchanted to introduce another song, also from Enchanted. That's 3 from Enchanted and one from something else. I don't need to hear this. Cut to commerical, please. I'd prefer one of the PC/MAC commercials over this, which is desperate. Ok, fast forward. Nice. Polite applause.

John Travolta is going to present... what... best song finally, or are they going to drag it out more? He's dancing. Swell. Really flex your acting muscle there. Its one of his favorite categories. Good to know. That will really help me make important future decisions. Recap of the painful nominees. Oh, there was another non-enchanted. AUGUST RUSH. My bad. Hopefully one of the non-enchanted wins. I don't care which. ONCE won. That's good. Now I don't have to do one of these things: #&$(*@ to mask my true feelings. I did it anyway, but the difference is that I chose to do it. I didn't have to do it. Its all about choice, people. Get out there and vote. Go Obama. If a repulican has to win, I'm voting for McCain. He seems honorable.

Jon Stewart just called the previous guy arrogant. That's my type of humor. Someone illegally parked a boeing. Jon Travolta came back on stage to collect his keys so he can move it. Eh. It was ok.

Fast forward through Mr. Spieldberg and commercials. Bringing out someone to say thanks... she didn't get an opportunity to do it earlier. That's nice. Its her first win, and she didn't get to speak, so rectify the situation. I approve. Of course, if this is what she said the first time through, we'd probably fast forward, but the preamble made it interesting.

Cameron Diaz.... I remember her. She managed three words before bumbling. Her air head is unusually anchored, or am I just stereotyping her from charlies angels? She's presenting cinematography. Is this show ever going to end? Jesse James, Atonement, Diving Bell, No Country, There Will Be Blood. I'll vote for no country. The cinematography is what made it good. It was an intersting movie, but really not about anything. All the good guys die and the bad guy lives. Whoopty Doo. There Will Be Blood won. Previously nominated for Good Night and Good Luck. I haven't seen that yet either.

Here's Hilary Swank to present something. Million Dollar Baby is worthy. The Next Karate Kid is not. Oh, the dead-person list. Lets see if Heath gets a standing O even though he essentially killed himself. So far, I don't know anyone... polite applause. You'd think I'd recognize someone by now, but I don't. The kid from HOOK is dead???? That's sad. How'd that happen? Its been a bad year for young actors. Karate Kid cinematographer. God Father editor. GLORY cinematographer (I think that was glory, anyway). Heath Ledger. The last one. What about Brad Renfro? Did I miss it?

Update: The kid from Hook, RUFIO, is not dead according to IMDB. It must've been covering someone else involved with Hook, but I only saw the image of Rufio. My bad. Sorry if I scared you.

Amy Adams presenting. At least she's not singing. She's presenting musical scores. Atonement, Kite Runner, missed one, Ratataouille, 3:10 to Yuma. The non-loser: Atonement. Fast forward. Fast Forward.

Jon Stewart. Tom Hanks is presenting. Jon Stewart is giving him a hard time. Kudos. Goody... politics. Satellite feed from Baghdad. Swell. I was too busy typing and deleting stuff to notice what the award is for. At first I thought the Iraq thing was a useless stunt, but at least they're introducing nominees. The academy awards and people in Iraq are the exact opposite. If you're in Iraq, how meaningless is the academy awards? Sure, that's what they're defending, but if you get shot at for a living do you want to participate in the presentation of a statue for acting? The award is for documentaries. Gina's going a little nuts with the fast forward. I think we missed some stuff.

Commerical.

We're back. The next presenter is Harrison Ford, so make a car joke. Clever. Indiana Jones Music. I'm giddy. "Movies are made of ideas, and picture, and words." I'm pretty sure he's in a coma. Ally should go get him. This is the best screenplay. Juno, Lars and the Real Girl (that looks disturbing), Michael Clayton, Ratatouille, Savages (that was nominated for something else too). The oscar goes to : Diablo Cody for Juno. Excellent. Oh, this is going to be ugly. She's already in tears. Poor choice of tattoos. I say that primarily because we can see it. "This is for the writers". Please. She's keeping it together ok. Dropping some names. Quick cut to the actress applauding. Now to the director looking like he's really concentrating on the speech. Thanking the family, losing it, running off stage.

Best actor, director, and picture is coming up. Clearly I messed something up earlier because I thought they already did best picture and bourne won. What award was that then? Thankfully this is just a rant and not a historical document, because I'm messing up everything.

Oh oh. We lost the end of it. The DVR stopped promptly at 11:30. Oh, gina found the rest of it in real time. We're ok. Don't panic.

Daniel Day Lewis won best actor. I didn't see it, but he's always good. Gangs of New York was excellent.

I'm still bothered about the best movie mishap. What was that other award for? God! Maybe I have a minute to jump over to IMDB... hold please. It won sound editting. Maybe that was it. How in the name of all that is holy did I get that mixed up? Apparently I shouldn't multi-task. That supports my theory that Bourne, while a great movie, doesn't seem nominee'ish. Stay tuned. If it wins again, I'll delete this paragraph with extreme prejudice.

Oh, hey, maybe they showed all of the best pictures, then jumped back to the other award and I missed the transition. That could be it. (I don't care enough to watch it again.)

Flashback to previous winners of best director. Martin Scorcese, last year's winner, is presenting. No Country For Old Men won. The coen brothers are back. I missed most of their first appearance, but seems funny.

Denzel is presenting now. Where's Billy Crystal through all this?
Best picture nomieens: Atonement, Juno, Michael Clayton, No Country for Old Men, There Will Be Blood. Bourne isn't in there. NO COUNTRY won. I disagree. I saw it, and thought it was a good looking movie, but nothing spectacular. The plot left me unfulfilled.

I think we're just about done. Jon Stewart is thaking us. Good night.

Monitor problem

Yesterday I brought home 2 wide screen monitors from work. Imagine my excitement.

I plugged them in and fired them up, and quickly saw that the right one was damaged as shown in the picture below. During our morning meeting, Chris asked how the monitor was. I responded to the affect of "it looks like it got hit by a baseball". Naturally, Chris assumed that I was playing baseball in the house, so I had to explain that "looks like it got hit" and "got hit" are two entirely different things. I don't think I convinced him.

In order to clarify the extent of the damage, I photographed the damage and sent the email that follows the image.

Email: 2/21/2008, 10:07am

For the purposes of demonstration, I have attached a photo of the monitor problem discussed during our morning congregation. Though it is not clear in from the mere photo, a spider web of cracks starts at the center of the black hole and extends outwards, its fingers entwining themselves with the fabric of the screen. One may observe a parallel between that and the effect of professional baseball on our every day lives. The closer you are to baseball ,the more it affects your life as symbolized by the greater density of cracks. For those that are less involved, the cracks are fewer, but ever present. It is for that reason that I have elected to title this piece "The Baseball Effect".

The point has been raised that while I refer to the black hole as a "baseball", the screen was not actually hit by a baseball. I concede the point with the caveat that in art you must be able to think in the abstract. When Vincent Van Gogh drew the Mona Lisa, did he actually know a person name Lisa, or is she an imaginary figure that represents the best of what he saw in people as a whole? When Michael Jackson created the thriller video, was he trying to express to us that we really need to be careful about dancing zombies, or was he using that as visual conduit to some deeper meaning? These questions may not be answered, but still must be asked. Was my monitor hit by a baseball? The scientist in me says no, but the artist and philosopher think "perhaps".

HD-DVD Really Dead - The Regret

It comes as no surprise that HDDVD is officially dead. Toshiba sent out the announcement this morning.

I'm actually ok with it. I would've preferred that HDDVD won, but I only chose HDDVD because I hate Sony.

I've been looking at Blu-Ray players, sporadically, for the last couple weeks. Yesterday, we went to Circuit City to see if there were any specials. (Their selection was abysmal, and we walked out a few seconds later). Then we went to Best Buy for the same reason, then BJs. That, combined with my online research and conversations with some unbiased folks, has led me to an unfortunate conclusion.

It looks like I have to buy a PS3. I haven't bought a SONY product since 1992. Whenever I've needed anything, it was easy to find a non-Sony choice. There have always been plenty of choices for VCRs, DVDs, TVs, Gaming Consoles, etc. There was never a good reason to violate the ban and buy Sony, nor did I ever want to.

But this is different. It seems that PS3 is the only logical choice for a BLU-RAY player. Not only is it BLU-RAY, but it is also a gaming console. I'm not willing to to spend 1 or 2 hundred dollars more for a lesser competing product.

I'm dissapointed about it because it violates a 16 year embargo, but that's the only reason I'm dissapointed. I don't feel like I'm selling out or giving up. Its just that in this unique case, its the smart thing to do. Unless Sony issues me an apology or a refund for the VCR that started this whole mess, then I will continue to avoid Sony products.

My wife bought a PSP a few months ago. Its obvious that she has absolutely no respect for the sanctity of marriage. The DS is a perfectly suitable alternative, yet she chose the PSP. She's an american and can make her own choices, but you can imagine not only the dissapointment, but the hurt, that this inflicted on our relationship. The PS3 is different because there is not a reasonable alternative.

So, its nearly certain that I will purchase a PS3 in the not so distant future. Its just a matter of determining the appropriate version, and finding one. Then the ugly deed will be done.

Leia's inappopriate noises

We have a dog name Leia. Gina tries to deny that she was named after a character in a famous science fiction saga, but how many other Leia's have you heard of?

There's no delicate way to say this, so I'll get right to it. Leia has recently become a farter. I don't know if that's normal in the canine world or not, and normally I wouldn't be interested. Its well known that all animals fart; from the majestic armadillo all the way down to the carnivorous palm tree. Its just what animals do. God not only grants them the freedom to fart, but he expects them to. He encourages it. Its his way of saying "be free my child, be free.".

Actually, I just made most of that up as I often do. I am not privy to the opinions of the big g. I can only make logical assumptions based on personal observations and, to be honest, experience.

But that's really all out of scope of what I'm trying to express. The point of this is not how Leia farts, but how she reacts to it. She'll lie on the tile, comfortable while pondering complex issues of her day. "Should I drink water, then clean myself in public, or smell that dog's butt then bark at the wind? When are those stupid humans going to bed? I'd really like to pee in the hallway." Then, the silence is broken by a sound reminiscent of someone twisting a balloon in their hands. That's where normalcy ends. As soon as the fart induced squeak reaches the peak of its cresendo, she jumps up and panics. She tries to run, but her legs move too fast and she can't get traction. By the time she can get traction, she's not longer startled so she stops, then lies back down, perhaps to ponder the experience.

She does this everytime. Its as if she can't relate the loud noise bouncing off the walls with the odd vibrating sensation emerging from beneath her tail. She reflexively panics every time.

One one hand, I laugh, for I am human and humans are fundamentally flawed. On the other hand, I'm sympathetic. I want to protect her from the big-bad-fart. But how can I protect her from that of which I can't protect myself?